Janelle's Blog

Mirror, Mirror: What Happened to My Body?

My Loss Was So Great

I caught a glimpse of my marred body in the mirror. One week out of surgery from breast cancer had left me emotionally devastated over the loss of my breast. How could this happen to me? I thought. I was not at high risk as a young woman. Yet, at age 34, I had breast cancer. At that time one woman in eleven faced breast cancer in her lifetime. Now it is one in eight. Early detection saved my life 28 years ago and saves women’s lives today.

I avoided looking in the mirror for several days after surgery because I didn’t want to face the fact that I had lost the loveliest part of my body. Having breast cancer to me was like losing a dear friend. My breast was a part of my body and the pain of its loss left me sad and hurt. Since I could not look at my own body without crying, how could I expect any other person to accept my disfigurement? What I was left with was not only a broken body, but also a broken heart.

Facing Reality

That day finally came when I stopped dead on facing the mirror and paused a long time to look at myself with pity and remorse. Then I thought, I can’t go through my life feeling sorry for myself or self-loathing my body or I will be a miserable human being.

I hung my head and softly cried in despair, saying aloud, “God help me see myself as you see me.” That’s all I said, but it came from the depth of my heart.

At the moment the words left my mouth, peace settled over me like a soft cloud and swept from the top of my head all the way down to my feet with a release as a gentle rain on a parched, dry summer day. What I experienced was God’s presence in my life in a great moment of need.

Unexpected Answer to Prayer

A flood of gratitude encompassed me. Then I looked down at my feet and said aloud, “I have two feet that can take me where I need to go.”

I looked at my hands as I held them in front of me and said, “I have two hands that can work.”

I spoke out, “I have a mouth to speak and a heart to care.”

Then I said, “Thank you, God. I see myself as you see me, as a beautiful child, perfect and complete in your eyes.” That was the beginning of my journey away from devastation to the joy of living.

Keep on Living

There is life after breast cancer. Make it a good one. If you are experiencing breast cancer, I want you to know that there are caring friends in our online community who want to help you. Please click MyNBCF to join our community.

Stop and take a few minutes to be thankful for the good people that are in your life to help you along the way. Most of all, thank God for His help.

Thought for Today:

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” – The Bible KJV-Psalms 46:1

Live Life,

Janelle

Reader's Comments

One Response to Mirror, Mirror: What Happened to My Body?
  1. Kristen
    August 14, 2012 | 9:44 pm

    Hi, all is going perfectly here and ofcourse
    every one is sharing facts, that’s genuinely good, keep up writing.

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